Is Jaffar Saab pulling his daughter’s strings as he gaslights and manipulates her in Mein? We actually feel bad for Mubashira, here is why…
Mein is not just showing us the ego games, shaadi games, blame games played amidst close family members but it is also addressing toxic parenting. It subtly depicts how parents often pass on their dysfunctional behaviours and amplify them through emotional blackmail and gaslighting. Parents are the ones who can actually impact their children’s personality, for better or worse and in Mein, Mubashira’s father shows us how.
Mr. Jaffar, Mubashira’s father represents toxic parenting on another level really, yet subtle enough to be relatable. Mubashira may or may not have a personality disorder (since the drama hasn’t really thrown light on the topic), but it is safe to say we now know who might have possibly contributed to it.
Why We Feel Bad For Mubashira!
The recent episode of Mein has us feeling bad for Mubashira….yes we said what we said. It’s like everybody at every opportunity they find, hang an impending and past divorce over her head, use it as an excuse to justify that she must compromise and respect her present husband. It’s taken an interesting rather surprising turn because we thought her father was supportive earlier, willing to let go of her wrongs, fight with everybody alongside her, but it seems not…He is instead blaming her, telling her to compromise, settle and tolerate all the hardships, disrespect and Zaid’s tantrums because mardon ko time dena chahye…since she is the once divorced, rejected one. (More on that soon)
Jaffar Saab’s Bright Idea
Since the inception of his bright idea of getting her married to Zaid, to making sure she proceeds to perform her own rukhsati without her husband present (remember he goes to see his ex literally right after his Nikkah) yes imagine that?! to telling her to withstand and be patient because she is the lesser person, even when the husband is missing from his own Valima and then him disrespecting her at every chance he gets. Jaffar Saab is pulling his daughter’s strings, sadly. He has resorted to not only gaslighting but also blaming her for the relationship mess she’s in at present.
He is digging up her past at every chance he gets in his attempt at pacifying her and making sure she doesn’t leave the house or Zaid. You tell us, do you think he is a firm believer in those archaic values or he just wants Mubashira to keep compromising so he is giving her false hopes? The use of the word reject repeatedly was totally uncalled for by any parent, btw!
A Divorce Is Not A Failure
First off, why is Mubashira’s divorce being touted as her failure? A divorce is not a failure and shouldn’t be deemed one. Despite being so educated and influential, do the Jaffars in Mein really believe that?
Mubashira, despite being a strong-minded girl, doesn’t even seem to realize it at this point how she is being pulled down by her father, being manipulated by him, gaslighted by him. Such is the imapct of parenting that even the strongest among us break down when a parent employs toxic tactics to make us do what they want us to, o manipulate us to act in a certain way – and jaffar is for sure doing that with Mubashira! Does he have a part in bringing out the worst in her? Possibly his controlling behaviour, gaslighting and blaming has been passed down to Mubashira? Sure Zaid’s father is manipulating him too, but he is using a more back handed approach, staying in the shadows. His approach is not ridiculing him or demeaning his personality or self worth in anyway (so far).
3 Instances When Jaffar Saab Has Pulled Mubashira’s Strings!
We saw Mubashira in Mein riding the high waves of her ego earlier in the story, but now we see the tables being turned as she faces the wrath of Zaid’s ego. While she deals with that she also is being subjected to her father’s manipulation and gaslighting. Here are 3 instances that left us feeling bad for Mubashira:
1. His Hurtful Reminders
When Mubashira asks her father to make sure Zaid apologizes for leaving her at their own wedding, her father’s abominable response is “Mard Ke Ego Ko Azmana Nae Chahye” “Waisay Tumnay Ek Baat Sae Kahi Thi, Wo Tumsay Shaadi Nae Karna Chah Raha Tha” He is literally instigating her, hurting her just to render her silent and for her to be broken enough to submit.
Mubashira inquired why he let this marriage happen then. just for her to be disrespected, humiliated and tossed to the corner? Her father once again reduced her worth to her being rejected, says: “Humaray Pass Aur Option Kya Thi? Rejection After rejection tumharay sath horae thi”
2. He Thinks Mubashira’s Divorce Renders Her Defected
Zaid even leaves her after their valima to go see Ayra, Mubashira is right to lose patience, she again asks her dad to end things but her father’s response left us gutted and fuming!
“Theek hai, ek talaq ka tag tou lag chuka hai tum pay, doosra lag jaye ga tou kya farq parta hai. Mohib jo kuch kehta tha tumharay baray mai, wo sach sabit hoga. That’s it.” This is not about proving some one right or wrong, it is about your daughter’s life and future happiness! A divorce is just an ending to a relationship, why does it have to be considered a tag labelling the woman as defected? She is asking all the right questions: “Kya soch kay shaadi karai thi meri ussay? But her father talks about how some situations lessen somebody’s personality, really? An terminated relationship will now leave you less of a person?
“Ek divorce kya hogai app sab log mujhay for granted lena shuru hogaye hain.” We agree with Mubashira! Her divorce can’t be why anybody takes her for granted.
3. Her Father Is Literally Gaslighting Her, Calling Divorced Women Losers!
Jaffar Saab proceeded to again gaslight her: “If you can face all this you are welcome back, Jab tum doosri talaq lekay wapis aoge na tou tumhara jo us ex husband tamasha banaye ga wo bardaasht karsakti hou?” Then once more, (okay we are losing count now) he states: “tumhay misaali couple ya misaali loser aurat bana hai? Do baar maar khai we? Sab marriages mai yeh hota hai. Mard ko bas time lagta hai”
He is of the view that disrespect from a husband is no big deal in a marriage, as long as its indoors, within the 4 confined walls of your house, it’s fine because at least the bloggers are not talking about it. Really? When we checked last, in no way, is disrespect acceptable…Plus are all divorced women termed losers? We hope we REALLY do see it the other way round. It’s brave making a decision that is true to you, to others around you. This treatment is really quite unfair to Mubashira (who has her fair share of flaws as well, not denying that), but we are quite disappointed in Jaffar Saab.
Do you think her father is being absolutely toxic as he gaslights and blames her? Or do you think they both deserve each other? But then, it seems to be her father from where Mubashira largely gets her personality? Tell us what you think in comments.
