Hurmat is taking off as a lesson in over protective, strict parenting. Is Hurmat, an adult now, responsible for her own behaviour and hence, for the consequences that will befall her. Or, is she merely a victim of strict parenting? The drama sparks debate as the actions of a young girl and her newly found freedom might lead her down a treacherous path.
The most common comment on Hurmat is: “Hurmat’s father was not saving Hurmat from society, he was saving society from Hurmat.”
While this is all good in humour and fun, the most important point the drama is makes is how you must teach your children, not just daughters, to live and deal with society. When you isolate them and impose restrictions on them, there is a high probability they might not assimilate well in social life, their behaviour independent of consequences, because well, they have never really had to deal with the consequences, someone else, a forceful parent, made sure they never had to.
Lack of healthy social interaction while growing up
Hurmat’s personality and life choices, committing to Tabish, then changing her mind and ebing drawn to Zeeshan, shows how she was never allowed to experience social relationships when growing up so that she could interact empathetically and with responsibility in a social environment. Hence, her actions seem selfish and self-centred now, her resort to dishonesty in order to achieve her purposes, is also something she might have picked up from being with a father, a fearsome parent, and one from whom once could only get one’s way if one lied or hid things from him. Hurmat has developed an inner survival instinct that makes her justify her behaviour (sometimes hurtful, but wholly transparent, as if tact and diplomacy was something she never learnt, because she never had to use them – lack of social interaction), and act single-mindedly to achieve her own selfish ends. This coupled with her new-found freedom, has made her dangerously unstoppable. She is determined to get what she wants, and the ends justfiy the means for her.
A mother who was merely present but not actively parenting
Hurmat’s mother was not the best example for Hurmat to takeaway as someone’s life or behaviours she wants to relive in her own life. Hurmat does not want to marry someone who might be restrictive, or controlling, like her father. Perhaps this is why, Tabish’s instant response to Hurmat’s job offer, wanting to protect her, was taken by Hurmat as a move to control her. While Tabish relented later on and even accepted her decision to marry after her college degree, Hurmat feared she might end up with someone who is both emotionally vulnerable and perhaps, also controlling (like her father). Did she a fate like her mother and in order to avoid that, she hurriedly, and frantically in fact, ended her engagement abruptly.
Compassion – a Learnt Character Trait, Missing in Hurmat
Hurmat kept saying Tabish is a weak person, but she herself is a person with insecurities. Why should someone be with her if she refuses to be there for someone too? What drew Hurmat to Tabish was his sense of self confidence, ability to be in control perhaps. But the moment she saw his vulnerable side, she backed off. Although he seems like a perfectly caring young man, who is genuinely in love with her, Hurmat makes her choices with rationality, not realizing perhaps, that everyone is vulnerable at some point, and that’s what makes them human.
Interestingly, she is seeking someone who has total control of his emotions and shows zero vulnerability – wasn’t her father just like that? Are her choices for a life partner, unconsciously being guided by the character of the only man she knew in her life – her father?
Sensible friends
Thankfully, the drama does not show us typically toxic college friendships, and neither are they uneccessarily inane or extraneous. Hurmat’s friends counsel her wisely, and yet, are present for her despite her flawed decision-making, warning her of the consequences as well. Kainat is the anchor of this trio and also the most sensible and responsible person. She is straightforward person with great clarity of thought. Kainat possibly is also an example of a girl who has grown up with a balanced parenting experience, hence she often quotes her father’s words when advising Hurmat.
The price of Independence when it comes too late in life
Is Hurmat really focused on empowering herself, or has Zeeshan distracted her, and all she wants is to marry Zeeshan and have a comfortable life? She has even stopped taking her studies seriously.
Hurmat started off wanting to be independent and tend to herself and her mother after her father’s sudden death. But the story has taken a turn as she resorts to findiong a life partner whom she considers fitting for her future life. There is a determination that drives her actions, and one knows she’s heading for a fall. But such is her state of mind at present, that we know she will not shake off her present state of mind till she encounters a major incident, perhas one that will lead her into great danger. The feeling of invincibility and self belief might be her greatest downfall.
Hurmat’s father did wrong not only to Hurmat but also to his wife. Now she is incapable of advising or preventing Hurmat from destroying herself. One wonders though, if Hurmat’s present situation is a combination of her own faulty decision making and the fears that overwhelm her after gaining independence, literally, overnight, when her father ceased to be a presence in her and her mother’s life? How much of her behaviour is reactionary, after following such a restrictive life, and how much she can still control, if she pressed pause for a moment and took some time to evaluate her life choices?
