Dil e Momin just made it easy for a husband to get a second wife. And this time, the story tells us that if you want to revert to your first love, all you need to do is, have a loving, sacrificing wife like Maya who will give up everything to keep you happy – her room, her right to your company, your love, your intimacy and even, perhaps, her rightful place in your heart.
As Maya moved to her mother-in-law’s room to make way for Ashi and Momin to spend their wedding night in newly wedded bliss, I questioned her reasons for existing within the Momin household, I also questioned if the makers were too inclined towards justifying a second marriage?
But let’s come to the first point. Why would a young, newly married wife happily give up her bedroom, the most intimate and cherished place within her home to a newcomer and move in with her mother-in-law? In effect, this means that she will not be continuing with any physical relationship with her husband anymore. Does that even, complete the circle a marriage needs to complete in order to be classified as a marriage. There is something so wrong with the entire concept and the manner in which Momin and Ashi (old love, new wife) lapped it up and showed their gratitude to Maya, in the way Momin uttered that he can only be in love with one woman, and in the way, Ashi handed over the gajras to Maya (shouldn’t Momin be doing that, I questioned)?
Has Maya Justified A Second Marriage?
From what I’ve heard, and correct me if I’m wrong, a second marriage is considered in special circumstances that demand special action – reverting to your ex and wanting a romantically fulfilling life, while allowing your first wife to spend the rest of her days in your mom’s bedroom, cooking for the family, and submitting to her love for you by keeping your happiness as her priority is perhaps, the ultimate (in)human sacrifice from any woman – I call it inhuman because I’m not sure if a regular human being will be able to do the same. Very angel-like is Maya with her now, spiritual way of looking at life – has she not just set inhuman parameters for all the women whose husbands are seeking second wives, has she not just validated the fact that a wife should give her husband permission to remarry if he wants, for love, has she not just invalidated the emotions of so many women who would never be comfortable or happy with this thought?
Has she not made a whole lot of men super happy?
Has Maya (through her self-sacrificing actions) just justified a second marriage? Have the makers, very cleverly, ticked all the checkboxes for men justifying a second marriage? Jab pehli biwi raazi toh kya karega Qazi and samaaj?
What I Fail To Understand
While Maya’s move to turning more pious, religious and spiritual was a welcome twist in the tale and though Madiha Imam can be applauded for portraying a laudable transformation and a believable spiritual journey, here’s my question to all of you watching Dil e Momin – Is a young girl who has no parents or family to fall back on easily swayed into self-sacrifice? Ashi’s parents are there to look out for her, who does Maya have on her side? Who can question Momin and demand justice for their daughter when she herself, in effect has forsaken all her rights?
I shudder to think that this concept is being broadcast to non Muslim households who must be shaking their heads in disbelief…so this is what our religion allows? Where is the equality in treatment between the two wives, where is the justice in these two relationships forged together in the most sacred union? And once again, what is the sense in Maya living in a house with zero rights as a wife to Momin?
The saving grace in the narrative was perhaps, Momin’s mother and sister who resisted the second marriage. Fari’s conversation with her husband that she would never allow it, reflected the voice of many young girls. Momin’s mom questioning Maya’s stoic acceptance of Ashi and Momin’s relationship was also appreciated but unfortunately, it didn’t take away from the damage done to millions of mindsets who are watching the story unfold from the comfort of their homes. Mind you, many among them are first wives who don’t feel as giving as Maya, and many husbands who may be contemplating second marriages.
How fatal is that?
If dramas reflect the reality in our lives, they also help shape it.
Tell us your thoughts on Dil e Momin so far.
