I love him, I love him not, I love him, I love him not… What is it about Dar e Nijaat’s Abu Bakar that makes me sit on the fence, undecided, while I stare at the screen, half rage-baited, passive-aggressively watching it all unfold, episode by episode, dialogue for dialogue as the story takes hold. Zamil, I KNOW I don’t like, Zaryab, I KNOW I’m on her side, but Abu Bakar, dear Abu Bakar, you have yet to convince me.
And with that on my mind, several other thoughts took shape as the episodes revealed themselves, a love story in the making, marred or magnified, you take your pick, by the heavy religious messaging, kind of performative dialogue and a character who’s a Mr. Clean on demand.
Here’s what raced through my mind as Dar e Nijaat and primarily, Abu Bakar, raced through many more minds, mine being perhaps, the most inconsequential of them all.
1. If Zaryab’s parents are sleeping at Fajr, is that not a dadi parenting problem?
Showing Zaryab’s parents asleep at Fajr while Zaryab prays, is showing dadi’s son sleeping at Fajr while she prays. Let’s put things in perspective. If dadi is not a bad parent because her son doesn’t pray, then why is her son a bad parent if his daughter doesn’t pray 😉
Bad parenting is more than religion 1+1 does not always equal 2. Not in the world of parenting.
While religion certainly helps in setting the moral compass in, perhaps, the right direction, Zaryab’s parents are blamed for poor parenting primarily because they aren’t in touch with their Maker (Correct me if I’m wrong). I’d have liked to see something more substantial, less preachy and perhaps, more subtle? Either all parents who don’t pray bring up erring children like Zaryab, and those who do, bring up Abu Bakars. But Habib Sahab is no Abu Bakar, despite having a believing Kishwar for a mom. (Psst: He even drinks alcohol).
Dadi just messed up the algorithm y’all and she doesn’t even know it.
2. NGL I did love dadi saying she prays for Zaryab
When the elders in your family say “I pray for you” and you just nod in silence, you never know where that lands. I mean, you could end up with an Abu Bakar who says: “Your character is not my problem. It’s between you and your Allah.” Ever seen a desi man do that one? But on another note. let’s get to that dialogue in the next thought…
3. Your character is between you and Allah
Umm… you are married to her so I’d think it matters? Performative much? The dialogue seems to want to evoke a certain kind of response from the audience. Finally, a man who doesn’t judge a woman. While I follow Abu Bakar’s noble intentions and train of thought – the girl is already beating herself up about her past, now is not the time to judge her, I get you Abu Bakar – it could have been worded better or more realistically, especially since you had mentioned earlier to your mom that you don’t want her in touch with Zamil after she is your wife. Are you now saying it’s okay for her to do that? And that it’s between Allah and her, and not you, her husband? Help me out here. I like you Abu Bakar, but it’s okay to stand your ground as Zaryab’s husband, it really is.
4. Mujh se pooch kay jaana versus…?
Mujhe bata kay jaana – oh dear Abu Bakar, there’s a fine line. We know too many men whose wives cannot step out of the house without the green signal from their men, drama Pamaal being one such example in recent years. And while we know you’re not Raza in Pamaal, you could never be THAT husband, it would be good if you chose your words wisely, because, you know what, all of South Asia across multiple countries and add a few more continents there, is watching. And we want you to get it right, for all the men who need to know it’s not okay to expect their wives to ask permission for a basic human right… that’s it, that’s the thought.
5. When Abu Bakar says, I will always be there to hold you… and Snow White can rest easy
The fairytale prince aka Abu Bakar will always be at your side girls, that’s the message Zaryab’s dream phase gives out to all young girls going through heartbreak. Your prince charming is waiting for you and all you have to do is, have a dadi like Kishwar who will pray for your redemption. It’s that’s easy 1,2,3 – watch him emerge in shining armor, or all the way from Hyderabad…it will happen. Kinda tough for me to swallow that one, for all the damage it might do. But hold on, Abu Bakar is not real, and neither is the dream. So now sweat girls, just learn to distinguish between real and reel life and you’ve got this!
6. When Zamil tells Hamna – did she find out about your pregnancy?
Oh dear Zamil, that one made me laugh out loud. Sad as it is, you’re so hung up on Zaryab you can’t think straight, You’re about to have a baby but it’s still all about her. Zamil represents all those men we see, we know, we’ve heard about and asked to steer clear of. Hamna this is not on you and much as I enjoy Zamil squirming in discomfort, I feel for you from the very bottom of my heart, I do.
7. Staying on Hamna. Is Abu Bakar to blame for her misery?
The girl meant no harm to anyone yet, she’s the biggest collateral damage in the story. So much so, that I sometimes think DEN part 2 should be all about Hamna’s heartbreak. All the girl did was fall in love and want to marry the man she loved. And look where she landed. Is there any way she can be saved now? I mean, Zamil is as low in the partner ranking as Abu Bakar is on top… where do we go from here? Hamna needs a saviour too, and it’s definitely not Zamil. I’m wondering, am I the only team Hamna on the block? Justice for Hamna is a hashtag that should mean something for all those who have seen or heard of a Zamil in real life, tell me if you agree.
8. When Hamna lay her head on Abu Bakar’s shoulder, was that pure relief or pure love?
And that’s what y’all were waiting for straight since the past 6 episodes or more, and you got it. Me, I’m just a girl waiting for Zaryab’s Harvard dream to come true. Yes, spoiling it for all of you die-hard romantics. A girl gotta make her way in this world. Gentle reminder: for every heartbreak, there is (no) Abu Bakar waiting to catch you. So please get that university degree.
9. Laptop in bathroom
Gotta give it to my man. He thinks of EVERYTHING! Imagine me pretending to brood after a tiff with my man and nothing to do in the bathroom except… brood. While he may or may not go off to sleep in a comfortably nmade bed (probably by yours truly). The laptop is a definite yes on my next visit. And make sure to keep an extra charger in the bathroom in case the battery runs out. You never know how long you want to keep the ‘drama’ going (pun intended)… it doesn’t hurt to be prepared.
And that’s it folks, 9 thoughts could have been 19, but you know what? We’ll wait for the next episode drop, there’s always lots to talk about when it’s Dar e Nijaat!
Drop us a line if you have something on your mind too, happy to read what I missed!
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Dar e Nijaat is penned by Umera Ahmed, directed by Saqib Khan, and stars Sheheryar Munawar, Dur e Fishan Saleem, Nameer Khan, Sania Saeed, Faran Tahir, Romaisa Khan and others.