This week’s Jafaa episode touched upon anger management issues, the need for therapy, the plight of people who are living with a person with anger management issues as well as a parent’s dilemma when their daughter is bound in a relationship with a man who clearly needs therapy.
But what really made the story push the envelope was the conversations that addressed mental health from all possible angles, unpacking the layers of this very complex challenge – convincing a person afflicted with mental health issues to visit a therapist.
Here’s why Jafaa is doing a great service to all those stuck in such a relationship:
1. Therapy vs Electric Shocks
Hassan’s off the bat reaction to Zara’s suggestion that he seeks therapy is a reference to electric shocks, and more relatably, resuscitating painful memories from his past. The first was to create awareness for the unschooled about what therapy is ‘not’ in today’s world. Electric shocks are stoneage really, but people might view therapy as belonging to a “lala land” and not for them.
Secondly, and the real fear for Hassan was visualised in a fleeting flashback where he fears visiting his childhood traumas and perhaps, knows deep down inside that the therapist might make him revisit a painful past, in order to help treat his present state of mind – a truth that is truly painful for a person suffering from mental health issues.
2. Zara’s Perpetual State of Fear
When Hassan reaches for the glass of water, Zara holds up her hands in defense, fearing an anger episode. Hassan’s dadi also fears leaving him alone with Zara lest he hurts her. This constant fear of the person you are living with, who launch into an episode instantly, unannounced, is real and the silent tension between Zara and Hassan in the room, where you could literally cut through the air with a knife, was so well performed and executed that it could well serve as a trigger for real life victims such as Zara.
The drama creators deserve a nod for this sensitive portrayal.
3. A Parent’s Dilemma
Zara’s mom, mentioning that the boy’s family should have mentioned his anger management issues was on point. Very often, a person with mental health issues is married off with the hope that hos issues will subside, or magically self correct, while the girl’s family is left in the dark about her prospective husband’s mental health issues. It’s something we don’t talk about… until it’s too late?
4. Addressing The Issue Tactfully, Yet Keeping the Victim Safe?
While Zara’s mother is rightly concerned about her wellbeing, she, in her anxiety and need to protect her daughter, doesn’t realize she has to be tactful and discreet about her approach and counseling Zara and her in-laws. While both Hassan’s dadi and Zara agree with Zara’s mom about seeking therapy for Hassan, Zara’s mom needs to realize that her constant conversations might actually endanger Zara’s safety in her in-law’s home. Since Hassan might react to the pressure she is exerting on Zara.
This also demonstrates how society at large and parents like Zara’s who are aware and ready to support their daughter might pose a threat to her safety in her in-law’s house by being too blatant about their criticism of their son in-law. Different situations call for different reactions, and Zara’s mother needs to handle matters a bit more discreetly so as not to endanger her daughter’s life.
5. A good person vs mental health
When Zara explains to Hassan that she wants to spend her life with him, he hos a good person and loves her, one almost feels it’s possible. What gets brushed under the carpet is that a good person at heart and a well-meaning partner can also suffer from mental health issues which might make it impossible or really hard for an educated, self aware, compassionate person such as Zara to be safe around her partner. The conversation highlights that just because someone is a good person, doesn’t mean one should continue spending their life with him despite his anger issues which clearly disrupt their relationship.
Last but not the least was this dialogue:
6. Bus ghussay ka tez hai, nafseeati mareez tau nahi
This mindset is the most damaging and problematic, it is the reason why women have been walking on eggshells throughout their lives, caught in abusive relationships where perfectly “nice” men, who tend to their partner’s every need, unleash their mental traumas on her and the entire family under the guise of “ghussay ka tez hai.”
To accept anger management issues, ghussa issues as a nafsiati (mental) issue is our biggest challenge as a society. The conversation between Hassan and his dadi, where she tells him that even sye fears he might hurt her in anger was so critical, telling us that a person with anger management issues are capable of hurting those whom they love dearly, and that those whom they love dearly live under constant threat of being hurt.
Jafaa is doing a great job at portraying multiple angles of a social taboo that is at the heart of many abusive relationships that are not even termed abusive by many of us… oh well, because, ” bus ghussay ka thora tez hai, nafsiati mareez tau nahi”
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Jafaa is written by Samira Fazal and directed by Danish Nawaz. It is produced by Momina Duraid Productions. The cast features Mawra Hocane, Usman Mukhtar, Sehar Khan, Mohib Mirza, Zarrar Khan, Farah Sadia, Nadia Afgan, and others. The drama airs every Friday at 8 pm on HUM TV.
