Pakistani dramas are increasingly becoming a primary source of relational and mental health education. These storylines resonate deeply with viewers, who often idealize and emotionally invest in the relationships depicted on screen. This article explores the complex dynamics between Sharjeena and Mustafa, a popular couple from the acclaimed drama Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum, as they navigate a challenging period in their relationship following the devastating aftermath of a miscarriage during pregnancy.
Here we speak to Dr. Sheeza Mohsin, a Couples Therapist and an Executive Coach for Men’s Mental Health. And this is what she had to tell us:
On Unsustainable Perfection
Every relationship has an alluring yet precarious stage known as the honeymoon phase. This is when love feels flawless, unbreakable, and all-consuming—a period many strive to maintain indefinitely. However, what I like to call “unsustainable perfection” often sets in, where couples expect too much from each other, just as we see between Sharjeena and Mustafa in Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum. When reality begins to challenge these ideals, it often pushes couples to their limits.
The Allure of the Honeymoon Phase
The honeymoon phase in Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum captures the perfection many aspire to in love, fueled by passion and excitement. Indian cinema, especially Bollywood, has romanticized this notion of “perfect love” so deeply that it sets sky-high expectations. But life, with its inevitable ups and downs, doesn’t allow for this perfection to last. Relationships, like seasons, must shift and adapt. And when couples, like Sharjeena and her partner, aren’t prepared for this shift, disappointment can hit hard, leading to disillusionment and resentment.
Unrealistic Expectations and Co-Dependence
One of the challenges in Sharjeena’s relationship was the rise of co-dependence—a level of attachment that felt romantic at first but soon became suffocating. At one point, Sharjeena’s partner (Mustafa) held an unrealistic expectation: he viewed any connection she had with her family as a betrayal, a sign that she wasn’t completely devoted to him. This sense of exclusivity became a way for him to protect his ego, seeing her contact with family as a humiliation, as though he couldn’t provide for her.
Sharjeena, once practical and independent, found herself increasingly catering to this need for loyalty. Relationships flourish when both partners maintain individuality and practice self-care. When one person leans too heavily on the other, the “weight” of the relationship becomes unmanageable, leading to cracks and, ultimately, breakdowns.
The Impact of Pregnancy and Emotional Needs
Pregnancy is a sensitive time in a woman’s life when emotions are intense, especially due to hormones. This is depicted well, adding another layer of complexity to Sharjeena’s personality and relationship expectations from her husband, amplifying her emotional needs and sense of isolation.
It is very typical for a woman to have heightened emotions that can lead to needs and expectations that may seem unreasonable. For instance, as a pregnant woman with high blood pressure, Sharjeena should have prioritized her health and the baby’s well-being. Leaning on family support, which was so consistently offered in her case would have been a wise choice. Or her partner, realizing that four flights of stairs and a less-than-ideal neighborhood warranted this temporary move. Both partners in this case were unreasonable and stood loyal to their ideal positions, which did not yield an outcome favorable to the relationship and their child.
Individual Journeys and Relationship Seasons
Relationships are a balancing act, especially during times when both partners are navigating their own paths. In Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum, Sharjeena’s partner was driven by his own goal of financial stability and spent countless hours working to secure a future for their family. This left Sharjeena feeling emotionally unsupported. When it’s challenging to be there for each other, as they experienced, each partner must be present for themselves.
Both Sharjeena and her partner had a responsibility here: she needed to communicate her needs more firmly, while he needed to acknowledge her emotional space. In real-life relationships, these “seasons” of emotional distance are natural. Couples must learn to adapt without feeling they’ve failed each other.
Forgiveness, Accountability, and Learning
Forgiveness is crucial in the growth of any relationship, especially when unreasonable expectations play a role. Blaming her partner wouldn’t have resolved Sharjeena’s struggles, nor would self-blame have helped him. Instead, acknowledging their shared responsibility could help them grow beyond disappointment. After all, every relationship comes with “coulda, shoulda, woulda” moments. These experiences, as painful as they are, deepen the bond and help partners grow.
Victimhood vs. Resilience
The media often glorifies victimhood, making it easy to demonize one partner and empathize solely with the other. But healthy relationships move past these portrayals; both partners need to find resilience, focusing on solutions rather than blame. In Sharjeena’s case, leaning on friends or family for additional support might have helped her through moments of isolation. Relationships, and marriages especially, require more than love—they require a supportive community.
Relationships: A Dance of Growth and Understanding
Ultimately, relationships are like a dance, requiring flexibility and empathy to flow through each season together. Sharjeena and her partner’s journey in Kabhi Main Kabhi Tum captures this: love brings highs and lows, and each phase has its own lessons. Embrace each moment, learn from the disappointments, and remember that every experience—whether filled with joy or frustration—has the potential to deepen the bond.
What do you think? Let us know!
Dr Sheeza Mohsin is a Couples Therapist, and an Executive Coach, focusing on Mental Health for Men, with a Global Practice.
Her newly created website www.dilkirecipes.com and related social media platforms are just now launching to support the South Asian diaspora in the United States and abroad.
