Jama Taqseem: Zeeshan Ousted, But Is That A Good Thing? We Asked Our Onboard Therapist

While audiences in Jama Taqseem breathe a sigh of relief that Sidra is safe and doesn’t have to live under the same roof as her harasser Zeeshan, one questions the family’s decision to pack off Zeeshan to a hostel. Is that the best they can do? Were there other options? Is Zeeshan old enough to be shunned and shamed by his family, or… did he receive the punishement he deserved? Read on as we tell you more with advice included from our onboard therapist Dr Sheeza Mohsin

When Zeeshan was caught red-handed by his chachu Qais, audiences watched with baited breath, fearing Sidra’s safety. Earlier, despite repeated warnings from Laila, Zeeshan’s intentions as reported by Laila had been dismissed by Qais as unnecessary negativity or Laila reading him wrong. However, now that his real intentions were exposed, he was hurriedly packed off to a hostel, with dada wanting to have nothing to do with him, and his mother Nighat, in perpetual denial.

It is laudable that a Pakistani drama has not only ventured so far into the story, but also shown the repercussions of such an incident, possibly sending out strong messages to audiences on parenting, joint family dynamics (not always positive), and also, how to deal with a situation such as Zeeshan’s and Sidra’s. Sidra, (and every one agrees on this one), needs to feel safe from her abuser – living under the same roof is not an option.

So while Zeeshan being sent to a hostel as a short term solution might be a great way to tackle the immediate problem, the mess is far from over. With this decision, the family might have succeeded in keeping Sidra safe, but Zeeshan too, needs help. He is after all, not an adult so far and though many among the audiences are welcoming the fact that he is being ragged and possibly harassed at the hostel – an unfortunate reality that many young people are vulnerable to in hostel accomodation, how can the situation be managed so that Zeeshan can eventually reform, and not transform into a more damaged version of himself due to living away from family, being shamed by his family members and also, not being guided wisely by his parents, especially his mother Nighat, who continues to be in denial about her son and blames every one except Zeeshan, for the fallout.

Jama Taqseem has so far exposed the holes in the joint family system – many of which are brushed over or ignored by family members because the institution sits well with our traditional belief system – living together is the only way our culture will survive. But it is not just an erroneous belief system but also a need of the hour that has empowerd the insititution and Majeed voices it aptly to his wife Nighat when he recounts the economic benefits of living together; how their financial burden is lessened. That coupled with the benefits of grandchildren living under the same roof as their grandparents, someone to tend to ageing parents, (a desperate need in a society where many young couples are fleeing the nest), and a system that survives on sharing financial resources, is what has kept joint families at the heart of many extended family living arrangements.

However, every family must find its balance. And in the case of the Jama Taqseem family, one must understand that while Zeeshan’s hostel stay is an apt short term solution, perhaps one needs to look beyond that in the medium to long term. While saving Sidra is the need of the hour, saving Zeeshan from further emotional and psychological damage is also critical. While sending him away might be the first course of action, the family must own their part in Zeeshan’s upbringing and behaviour. Without blaming any one person (as Hameed blamed Nighat, the mother, for Zeeshan’s behaviour), a joint family that shares collectively in finacial resources must also share collective blame for Zeeshan and Sidra’s predicament. Forcing Zeeshan to leave the house is in a way, not taking responsibility for the part they played, knowingly or unknowingly, in raising a child such as Zeeshan, and how their actions and carelessness led to this situation. It must therefore, fall upon them to remedy it, or atleast try – sending Zeeshan away might be a stop-gap solution, but not the final one.

So while Hameed and his wife might not be economically independent to move out, this is an option the elders in the family must explore to make sure that Zeeshan stays with his nuclear family, and also away from Sidra – the person he harassed. (Therapy might also be a part of this, at a later stage). As is the case in most joint families where centralized decision-making is key, many in the next generation are unable to take decisions that might be wiser than their parents: a) because they have never had to (their parents have always been around to do that for them, even though they are fully grown adults), and hence, don’t know how to, as in the case of Hameed and Nighat, whose first response is to consider marriage between Sidra and Zeeshan, and b) because the elders in the family are bent on saving the institution that gives them power and togetherness – if Hameed leaves the nest, the joint family is broken for good – and that is something not acceptable, even at the cost of destroying their grandchildren’s lives.

It’s all about perceptions and emotions, not necessarily rationality. For example, when Qais informed his parents that he will move to another house because his company has allotted him one, his mother merely heard, “I’m leaving you” (despite Qais reiterating that he will come to meet them everyday), instead of ,”I’m moving to a new house.” The moving away of an offspring before or after marriage, for practical or career reasons, is seen more as an emotional abandonment of ageing parents rather than a need to find their feet, start a newly-married life or expand their career.

Jama Taqseem is sparking conversations on a range of family issues from harassment, to privacy, behaviour of children, comparison and an unspoke hierarchy between daughters in-law, power struggles between brothers, cousin rivalry, and all the mess that comes with the institution of joint living.

But as Laila said to Qais, every system has its positives and negatives – we wait to see how the drama navigates the story line, delivering more answers than questions as viewers remain invested in the narrative – connecting the dots to real life scenarios many have lived out off the screen.

This article, along with the ideas discussed, has been developed with input and expert advice from Dr. Sheeza Mohsin, a relationship expert and psychologist. Her professional perspective helped inform and refine the content to ensure a balanced and thoughtful discussion.

Dr Sheeza Mohsin is a Couples Therapist, and an Executive Coach, focusing on Mental Health for Men, with a Global Practice.Her newly created website www.dilkirecipes.com and related social media platforms are just now launching to support the South Asian diaspora in the United States and abroad.

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Jama Taqseem is written by Sarwat Nazir and directed by Ali Hassan. It is a project of MD Productions and is airing on HUM TV. The cast includes Mawra Hocane, Talha Chahour, Javed Sheikh, Deepak Perwani, Madiha Rizvi, Hassan Ahmed, Tazeen Hussain, Amna Khan, Beo Rana Zafar, and more.

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