They said it right. It takes a village to raise a child. Let’s begin with us – both of us!
With the present climate where conversations surrounding the consent of a woman, femicide, a woman’s empowerment and her right to be respected by men are taking centre stage, I see a lot of posts asking women to raise their sons responsibly. I hear women, mothers of sons, feel the burden, the guilt, of raising good human beings.
As a mother of 3 sons, I hear you.
One would expect but naturally, that because you’re a woman, you have absolute or a major influence in your son’s upbringing.
But listen to this too.
It might be the men in our lives who hit the jackpot when it comes to raising our sons well. This is not an attempt to shift responsibility, but an inevitable truth we must acknowledge.
How men manifest behaviour that is exemplary towards their wives, sisters, daughters, female colleagues and mother, so their son learns through watching someone, a male mentor, a figure of authority he respects, who does the right thing and leads by example, can have a monumental impact on how they, the young men in our lives turn out.
When He doesn’t lash out in anger at her, when He doesn’t flip every time things don’t go his way, when He is okay with his son shedding a tear, when He happily prepares dinner for his family, when He gives his wife and daughter a hug, and his son too, when He uses calm words to communicate and opens up about His fears, anxieties or insecurities, when He appreciates everything she does for her family, and His, when He does not expect her to tend to His mother, because that’s His responsibility, and if she still does it, there is no compulsion, when He makes an effort to be supportive of her relationship with her parents and siblings, when He encourages his daughter to pursue higher education and a career as much as his son, when he supports Her career, even if she is earning more than him, HE is setting examples that will go beyond anything She can accomplish alone.
He will help her raise the sons and daughters we need for tomorrow.
Too many mothers are going through too much pain, guilt and the pressure of responsibility to raise good human beings in a world where nothing is isolated, and nothing will depend on one person alone – certainly not parenting.
And for those mothers or fathers who are single parents, I urge you to look around you, amongst family members, friends and colleagues who can always set the right example for your children. One must believe… it is possible.
Let’s share the responsibility. Because, let’s face it, neither of us can get it right alone. But together, we can achieve what we dreamed of.
And yes, they said it right. It takes a village to raise a child. Let’s begin with us – both of us!
