“I was 15 when I was married. I was in class 9, I wanted to study further, but my relatives told my family, get her married, she will study and grow rebellious. At 22 I was divorced with 4 children.” – Naseema Parveen, Security Receptionist Tabba Heart Institute
Naseema continued: “My parents didn’t want me to bring the children back home. We had no money, my father was a labourer, they couldn’t support us.”
I met Naseema Parveen in October 2023 at the security reception desk of Tabba Heart Institute in Karachi. While the place was flocking with patients families and well wishers, Naseema sent out a feeling of calm and control in her over all demeanour. I asked her that I wanted to take my tea upstairs please (a practice not allowed in the premises as eating and drinking, rightly, stayed in the cafeteria below). She looked at me with a cool glance, and responded in the same respectful tone: “There’s a patient relations office to my right, if you can please get their permission, you’re free to take your chai ka cup upstairs.” I did the needful, successfully. We exchanged a smile as I walked past her with the chai cup, having attained permission. How smooth was that, I thought.
I wanted to know her story. Her authoritative yet reassuring tone caught my eye and hence, I returned in March of 2024 to get in touch with this lady who had impressed me as she stood out, alert and welcoming, smartly attired, standing side by side with her male counterparts, totally at ease and oh so inspiring.
“Yes.” She responded. “That is how it is. We work together as a team at the hospital.”
Naseema tells more: “I have four children. We are six or seven people and we live together as a family. I work and I am the only working member in my family. My children are studying and my parents are old and weak now. I support them too.”
“I have a 17 year old son, and my other son is 13 years old, I have a 12 year old daughter and a 7 year old son.”
“I have not differentiated between my sons and daughter. I dream that my daughter should study and be successful. I want my daughter to be able to stand on her own two feet, to manage her own things with her husband, and to manage her life. I don’t think it’s good for a woman to depend on a man. I think that women should depend on themselves. But it’s good if a man comes and helps you.”
Naseema was very clear about the way forward in life.
“Whether it is a father, a brother or a husband, I think that these relationships are very good, I am not saying anything wrong. But I think that with time, with society, being a female, being independent is very good. And this is necessary.”
“I decided to study because I come from a middle class family. And in my family, it was not considered right to send girls to school. And my elders didn’t let me study. I was very much interested. My family was poor. I am the eldest daughter of my family and I was married off at the age of 15 when I was in class 9”, she said, quite matter of factly now, but with an awareness that what she underwent was clearly wrong.
“My son was born when I was 16 years old. I was between 23 and 24 years old when I got divorced. After I got divorced, my parents did not want to keep me with the kids. They were not supporting the divorce.” replied Naseema.
They were saying: “You are our daughter, you come, don’t bring your children. And this is what a lot of parents do.”
“This was very difficult for me, and I told my parents that just like I am your daughter, I am very dear to you, my children are very dear to me too. A person who married me at a very young age and could not keep me, I think he will not be able to take care of my children.”
“My parents ended up giving me a place in the house. I sat at home and did some sewing work. I tried to do odd jobs but it was very hard, and we had no money and too many people who needed to be fed and looked after.”
“I was not able to afford to get an education. My children were very young. I had to earn money to take care of my children. I had to pay their school fees. My children were drinking milk, I needed money for that. They were very young.”
Was there anyone else in the family who helped you with the children, I asked.
“My father. At that time, he used to work a lot. He used to support me a lot, he used to work in construction, he used to work as a laborer, although he was handicapped with only one leg, he refused to make his children work outside the home. And I will always respect him for that. My father was always very supportive of me, I share a very close bond with him.”
And your mother, I asked, what about her?
“My mother also started supporting me gradually, but she said that she was doing it because my father told her to. She worried about how the kids would be looked after and my sister too, sided with my mother, so it was very hard for me to live at home.”
“So I had a very difficult year. But then, after that year, I got a job in a hospital as a security outside the maternity ward.”
Oh, that was a great break, but how did you get the job, I asked?
“I went to the hospital and there was a security officer sitting there. I told him that I need a job and I need it very badly. And he said that I should make a CV.
Someone told me that in security you get a job easily, you can find out about the company and go to someone. I believe that I had not seen this world, I did not know where I would go.”
Did you make a CV, I inquired?
“No, I didn’t have a CV. I didn’t even know what a CV was.”
“I was so simple, so… I was so… I was so dumb. I wore a burkha, washed my face, and put on a chaadar, and left. I used to wear a niqab at that time. So I went and there was an officer at the security counter. I said, sir, I need a job. Can you give me a job? He said, tell me your name. I said, sir, my name is Naseema Parveen. He said, what job will you do? I said, anything. I am very poor, I need a job. He said, there is a job for security, but do you have experience? I said, I don’t have experience, but I will do as you say. Whatever you tell me, I will do. He asked me to make a CV and come. I was worried as I had no idea how to make this CV. How will a CV be made? I had no idea about anything, I was not familiar with things. So he advised me, you go to the computer guy, tell him, and he will make you a CV. I went to the computer guy and asked him to get me a CV.”
“I was helped randomly by the security person at that hospital, and I got a cv made with basic, bare essentials all on his advice. I will always be indebted to him for life. His name, I will never forget. It was Nadeem sir. And when I told him, I was crying while telling him. That moment is still painful for me. When I went and told him, I needed a job.”
“I had studied up to class 9, but I didn’t pass the 9th exam. So I got a call from HR soon, from the Madam at the hospital for an interview”
“It was the year 2013. She was a very nice, very polite, person. She asked me about my family. I told her that I have four small children. She asked me what my husband does. I told her that I don’t have a husband. I am divorced. She said, no, I will not be able to keep you here. You will not come on time, you will miss work when there is a strike in the city. We are a hospital, we can’t have you missing work. But I was so desperate to give my children a better life, to help pay the bills and send them to school, that I assured Madam that I would give my full time to the job. Even if I have to walk all the way to the hospital, I will come. You don’t worry about that. Just please don’t say that if I can’t come, you won’t give me a job. So she said, okay. On this basis, she hired me that this girl will not take leave and will come on time. And this is what happened that whenever anything happened in this city, I never took leave.” Naseema drew herself up proudly.
What happened when there was a strike?
“I would walk very far. And when I would see an auto or taxi, I would sit in that and walk further. When the driver would tell me that I cannot go further, I would get off there. So I would start walking again.”
“When I started my job, Nadeem Bhai had given me a loan of Rs. 3000. He said, beta, when you get your salary, you can give it to me. That’s how it was. That’s why I had money. So that’s how I managed.”
What was your work there?
“My work there was not much. In fact, there were a lot of good people who I worked with. And there my work was only to oversee things in the labour room. I had to allow the attendants in the labor room and keep an eye on the number of visitors. I was giving the family information on how long the procedure lasted, and just updating and reassuring them.”
What was your schedule?
I worked from 8.30am in the morning to 4.30pm and the afternoon duty was from 3pm to 11pm.
My father didn’t bring much. My father used to bring Rs.700-600 daily. So my salary of Rs.11,000 was a huge amount for the house.
“So, after seeing that, my mother’s mood changed a bit. Things changed. I felt better.”
When it was your first day, and you were 24 years old for the first time, you started working. How did you feel?
“For the first time, I could forget about the house, the problems of the house. I felt like my feet were in the air. I felt like I could do something for my children. I was thinking that I don’t want to get married. I just want to raise my children. I wish I had done this earlier in my life. And after the job, I was very happy and I was waiting for my salary to come. I would dream about bringing things for my children. That’s it.”
How was the environment in the hospital? Were there more security guards there or just men?
“No, there were fewer women. There were two women in total. I have never counted the men. There were a lot of men.”
What was the work environment? Did you feel that the men were letting you work without any fear? Or did you feel that they were being honest? I asked.
“I don’t want to name the hospital but I was very lucky to get a job in the men’s sector. Because the situation was very bad there, I was not able to feel the happiness and safety of a woman. I also had to face a lot of trouble. Things got pretty bad for me.” Recollects Naseema, holding back tears as her mind raced back through the years.
Can you tell me one incident that you felt was a bad omen?
“I was so shocked after, that I left the hospital. I won’t name the person who was there, he was a very rich man. He had a good relationship with that hospital, he said to me through someone, he didn’t say it directly that he wanted to be friends with me. And if I don’t befriend him, then I can’t even imagine what he could do to me. I was so scared, that I thought I would leave. I thought it would be better to leave, so I left. Because his position was very powerful and I was nothing…” her voice trailed off.
You didn’t even think of complaining to anyone?
“No. I told both my bosses. I went to my supervisor. I cried a lot. My heart was broken. But she explained to me that she was like a mother to me, and in order to protect me, she thought it better I find another job.”
Did you tell them his name?
“Yes, I told them. But he was a senior to them too. I told them that I don’t know where I will find a job. I asked Nadeem sir again, and prayed that Allah will find a way. He said leave everything to Allah and see what happens. He gave me a lot of confidence, gave me a lot of courage. It so happened that things worked out and I was offered a job at Tabba Heart Institute soon after.”
I could hear the sigh of relief in Naseema’s voice, even though this happened 10 years ago.
Naseema recollects the hard times she endured…the standing late night at the bus stop at 11pm, waiting for a ride home.
“I used to brave myself with the thought that nothing will happen and if there is any problem, we will see. You know that there are a lot of things in the shops these days. I have thought about it, I had a big knife which folded like this, (she gestured with her hand) I always kept it with me. When I left for home late night, I used to say, if I have to face any incident, I will show it to the person in front of me. I was sure that if I had to use it for self defense, I would!”
Her journey begun at Tabba in 2014 and it’s been 10 years now. She feels extremely thankful.
“So I joined Tabba in 2014. I am thankful to the people who brought me here. It’s been 10 years since I came to Tabba. I came here as a security receptionist. I was happy because I had a van for pick and drop now. I didn’t have to worry about anything. I could go home safely now, no matter what happens. So now I am very thankful to God.”
Not just thankful, she is also proud of herself and so are her family members and children!
“I have now bought my 17 year old son a bike. This was my first big expense and I am proud of myself today. Those people who used to say that I will be like this and that after I finish my studies, today, they are proud of me. And those people, my parents who didn’t want to support me, today I am taking care of them. I am proud of them and they are proud of me. ”
“My children today, realize all the sacrifices I have made. I used to manage a lot of things myself. I mean, there is a clinic near my house. I have the doctor’s number with me. And if there is any problem, I will call and say, Sir, I am sending the child, you can see him. When I come, I will pay you.”
“My husband came to me many times after the children grew up. He said that he made a mistake, he wanted to marry me again. But I said that I don’t want to do it now. Because when I was so young, you didn’t take care of me. You didn’t take care of my children. I took care of everything. I did everything I could do at that age. I was not able to understand so many things.”
The lone supporter of her family
“My father is a very simple man, he loves my elder son more than me. The reason for that is that I had only one brother. He died in an accident. I have no brother now, I have three sisters. I married both of them. I had some savings and I borrowed some money. I married a sister two years ago. Alhamdulillah, they are happy in their homes.”
What does your son want to do now?
“My son is currently studying. He says, mom, I will join nursing. I will try to study further and become a nurse. But it is a very good thing that he is thinking about this. I want to put all my children in nursing. It is a service to humanity.”
She says she feels safe at Tabba, a place where employees are supported.
“After coming to Tabba, people’s perception of the place changes. I want to say with great pride that the atmosphere inside Tabba is very good, very amazing, and if a female comes inside Tabba in any attire, she always feels safe. Because here, whether it is a male or a female, they never look at you with such eyes that you feel like, oh, he’s looking at me, or he’s looking at me like this. It never happens. Our management is very good, no doubt. If any harassment happens, our management does not accept at all. If the incident that happened in the other hospital happened here, then I think that there must have been some action taken. I think that my management would have supported me.”
“We have classes from time to time. Our supervisors supervise us. They have safety and security classes and first aid classes. We also have a certificate. We take classes and get certificates for the work we learn. I have one too. We are also taught about infection control. We are also involved in the ICM team. We are also taught about it. Other than that, there are small celebrations, like women’s day, and team recognition.”
Do you have any insurance or health insurance?
“Yes, I have a medical card. I have spent around 1 lakh rupees, which I could never afford and I also have the EOBA card which is for pension. When we retire from here, we start getting our pension.”
She now takes out time to focus on herself to put her best step forward.
“When I saw people around me, all looking so good, I thought… when my children grew up, I got some time in life. I felt that I should pay attention to myself. Because they say, first impression is the last impression. I sit in a public place, people see me, talk to me. So, for me, it is important to be good. So, this impression will not only affect the other person, but will affect me too. So, that’s why I thought it would be better to change myself a little.”
Do you get time with your children now?
“Yes, we get time. I give them time, I help them with homework, I play games with the kids. We sit together, chat, I make food for them. If we sit together, so my daughter, she is very fond of cooking, so I teach her. My youngest son makes roti.”
Will your career journey pause here or do you plan to do something else too?
I can hope and work towards a promotion, I can say. I am trying to transfer to nursing from here. CCD is our transfer program – CCD is Critical Care Unit.
Naseema’s words of wisdom and inspiration!
“Do you know that the biggest reason for leaving a job is not the salary, nothing else. It is your boss. If you get in a bad environment, people leave the job. And thif your boss is not nice, they can make your life very uncomfortable.”
Would you like to say anything else? And to any other girls who are stuck like this, in this situation, when you think about your 20-22 year old girl, what would you like to say to them?
“I just want to say to them that never lose hope. Keep walking with hope, keep walking with courage. God will show you the way and one day you will definitely reach your destination.”
