Meri Zindagi Hai Tu: The Crossover Between Cute and Problematic We Know We Didn’t Need
Meri Zindagi Hai Tu screened two episodes this week and while audiences are enjoying the cute-romantic goals served in the squash court proposal, check that out here, there is another conversation in between this dreamy scene that needs to be addressed. And here’s why:
When Ayra tells Kamyar that he stalked her, pointing out his problematic behaviour earlier on in the narrative, Kamyar responds that she slapped him too, terming her actions an ‘assault’ and implied that hence, her actions made up for his stalking. In other words, one action negated the other and they’re even. To which Ayra responds with an apology to Kamyar. Yes, take a deep breath… this is the same cute scene audiences are going gaga over… problematic much or are we merely whitewashing Kamyar’s stalking by equating it with the victim’s response at self defense or an action that spoke of her mere helplessness as her stalker refused to respect her consent.
Now the fact that the scene above between Kamyar and Ayra checked all the boxes – cute expressions, simple dialogues, on-point performanes, with just the right play of light and shadow from the director’s lens, makes it all the more suspect. Is the audience being wooed into agreeing that Ayra did in fact assault Kamyar by slapping him? Mind you, this is the same Kamyar who stalked her, beat up her brother, burnt down her car and then proceeded to insist he was in love with her.
Note of caution: Although physical violence in any form should never be encouraged or justified, and although Ayra’s slap as a stand-alone event can be judged on the same criteria, the fact that there was a history to the events that transpired before that slap must also be considered. What led Ayra to slap Kamyar, and moreover, what leads other victims of harassment to lash out in self defence, because well, they feel cornered, victimized and… helpless?
When Kamyar labelled Ayra’s actions as an ‘assault’, and when Ayra apologized for the same, it seemed as if a victim of stalking is being made to feel guilty about responding to her harassment – victim blaming just got a new name – assault.
Not just that, but earlier on, when Ayra pulled Khawar aside and asked him how he would respond to Ayra’s slap, he turned around to say he’d walk away or even respond and slap her back. This conversation left out a very significant detail, that Khawar had no idea what Ayra went through before she resorted to a slap. And hence his response cannot even be considered as justified – a messaging the audiences might miss because it was never referred to here.
Wait, what? Meri Zindagi Hai Tu just turned a victim of stalking into a perpetrator of assault and we’re all celebrating the conversation.
It remains to be seen how the story pans out in future episodes but this conversation has amplified the need and responsibility for creators to screen dialogues and conversations between a lead couple in a drama that is getting traction among audiences so that a damaging message such as the above is not pushed onto audiences, blatantly or subliminally, harming not only a sensitive cause but also putting into danger, the mental health and lives of many young women, victims of harassment or stalking who have lived real life stories combatting a narrative that we shouldn’t need to watch in the year 2025 or beyond.
Tell us if you agree and add your thoughts in comments below.
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