Pinjra addresses use of drugs in schools, online bullying, parenting errors, the power of influence, manipulating the law enforcement personnel and juvenile detention centres – The real life and very recent Scarsdale School incident carried all of these ingredients, making it a real life drama that seemed to mimic the Pinjra story, so much so, that we wondered – which one is real?
For those who are happily unaware of the incident, The Scarsdale School Incident occurred very recently in a Lahore based Pakistani school where a young girl was attacked physically by a group of girls who apparently accused her of sharing their videos (while taking drugs at a party) with their parents. Both the victim and the group of girls are said to belong to influential families. The case is still being investigated.
If ever reel life and real life could be facing an identity crisis, this is it. The Scarsdale School Bullying & Drugs Saga seemed like the evil twin sister of the drama unfolding on our TV screens every week – pity that not enough watched the fictional but shared, tweets, posted about, had an opinion on and named and shamed the real. Goes to show that although we agree with the negatives shown in the screen story and reprimand the erring characters who commit such wrongs, we might still become that negative character in real life when faced with similar challenges.
But the case that dramas cannot change mindsets was thrown out the window the moment I set my eyes on that painful video clip, showing a group of girls (thugs?) giving it real good to the one unarmed victim.
What The Scarsdale Story Taught me, Because I watched PINJRA
1. Everyone Is A Minor In The Narrative – But The Parents Need Accountability & Counselling Too
Now before you go bashing me, understand that we have created this society. When we take ownership for the children we laud publicly, who win awards, whom we are proud of, we have to take ownership of those who go wrong too. When parents are praised for doing the right thing, they need to be counselled or held to task where they need it. If children have broken the law, or crossed behavioral boundaries, parents must respond – every person is responsible for his own actions, correct, but people below a certain age are answerable along with their parents.
If your child has been hurt, try and remember that no matter how ugly the faces on the other side appear to you, they too are minors and if they are behaving in the manner they are, ask yourselves this question: Who is responsible?
2. But Minors Today Are Very Mature, They’re Not Like The Kids We Grew Up With Years Ago
Here’s the thing. A minor by law is defined as someone who is under a certain age (commonly 18) in most countries. Many children are more mature yes, but that is because they have been exposed to far more than their predecessor’s vis a vis online content, home experiences and relationships. Minors today are more independent, do not live in joint families, hence have fewer adults to turn to for advice or company, live a fairly independent emotional life from their parents and hence, their actions, though seemingly more mature and responsible, can step into a grey area where they feel they are old enough to handle things, but they are still susceptible to being manipulated or used wrongly by a grownup. Case in point, a minor who is harassed in school by a teacher will still be easy prey because of the traditional teacher-student relationship. In fact, if he or she encounters harassment, they will feel they can handle it themselves, because that’s what they do with all life problems – get the drift?
3. Commenting Online About An Incident & Naming & Shaming The Participants Will Send A Message Out To All ‘Minors’ – This Is The Way Grown Ups Deal With The Problem, So It Must be The Right Way!
Firstly, no one knows the whole story except those who were in the story. What is shown is definitely disturbing and calls for immediate action, however, that action must be taken within the parameters of the law enforcement agencies, legal system and the parents involved. Raising awareness of the issue can be done online and should be done, to exert pressure on influential elements & a legal system to ensure justice is served, but this awareness can be done leaving out the gory details – sensationalism has crept into, not only our dramas but our real life scenarios too. And it will harm the same children we want to protect – be it the victim in the video or the perpetrators.
4. Drugs is Not Just A Problem, It is A Reality In Pakistan
If Pinjra could tell it better, it did. Practically every student body in every other school in Pakistan (I hear from students) has access to drugs. They are traded in school often and schools and universities never conduct a drug test on campus. Of course, influence speaks. And many ‘minors’ who do drugs belong to privileged families who will ensure the test never becomes a norm.
5. Have We Become A Society Of Bystanders?
The video clip was obviously shot by someone who could have instead, helped the young girl who was fighting it out all alone and obviously outnumbered. But the student (I assume it was one) at the other side prioritized making a video of the entire trauma rather than jumping in to help out. That behavior in itself is hugely disturbing and I’m surprised that no one has thrown much light on it. Are we, in essence, raising children who will stand by and watch the show rather than stop it? In Pinjra too, the two students are fighting it out alone while the person standing there does nothing to stop them.
There is always the hard choice between reporting an incident and using that time instead to help the victim, but that is an issue best left to news reporters, the rest of us can leave that phone behind and save the victim first. Yes, many will not be able to witness what happened but to watch and record a crime without assisting is, in my books, a no go!
6. Are we sending out a message that no one should ‘snitch’ on any one coz everyone mind their own business?
The whistle blower, the snitch, the one who tells, is put down and ostracized by the entire group. when you see something wrong, you walk away or keep quiet. Because, if you speak up, or worse still, tell, then you are in danger and also, in traitor territory.
Here’s the thing. We teach our children to stand up for what is right. And then, we tell them to mind their own business. Which one should they practice and when? Educational institutions must be governed by an umbrella organization that a student or teacher can approach anonymously for grievances. I know this sounds very idealistic, but we already do have a cyber crime branch, one that supposedly handles online bullying too. Often school managements are pressurized by influential parents, so are law enforcement authorities. But the cyber crime branch would be an independent body to overlook that compliance occurs in every related organization.
Hopefully, the branch can remain corruption free, but we have to try, we cannot give up!
7. Justice Might Never Be Served Unless There Is Massive Social Media Pressure
And this is where online content and all of us come in. We must raise awareness around the issue, talk about it, find out what your child does when he or she is not with you, press for accountability and keep on raising hashtags about the issue so that justice is served, not forgotten and parents on both sides know that they will receive a fair trial.
Tell us what is your stance on the Scarsdale School incident?
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