Clinical psychologist Ayesha Zahid joins us to deconstruct the concept of self-harm, recently brought to light by Parwarish.
Parwarish has never been just another drama – it has consistently held up a mirror to society, encouraging us to reflect on our families, relationships, and the quiet battles we often ignore. From the struggles of parenting and the chaos of cousin rivalries to the stress of career choices and the weight of depression, each episode has sparked meaningful conversation. Now, by addressing the sensitive and often misunderstood issue of self-harm, Parwarish takes its storytelling to an even more courageous and impactful level.
This new narrative arc has pushed many of us to confront questions we may never have dared to ask out loud. How do you recognize if someone close to you is self-harming? What does self-harm even look like beyond the physical scars? Can emotional or psychological behaviors also be a form of self-harm? And just how dangerous can it be – can it really spiral into suicidal thoughts or actions?
The truth is, self-harm is a complex and layered issue, and it doesn’t always come in the form we expect. While we often associate it with visible injuries, it can also manifest through substance abuse, disordered eating, emotional self-punishment, or compulsive risk-taking. Many individuals engage in it not for attention, but as a way to cope with unbearable emotional pain – something they may not know how to put into words. It can become a secret struggle, masked by smiles or silence, especially in cultures where mental health is still stigmatized and misunderstood.
To help, we invited Ayesha Zahid, a clinical psychologist with over six years of experience, to guide both us and our audience through what self-harm truly is – and how we can respond with awareness, compassion, and care.
Can Self-Harm Lead To Suicide?
Not in all cases, but for many people, self-harm can sometimes be a way to attempt suicide.
Ayesha Zahid
While self-harm is not always a direct attempt at suicide, it can sometimes evolve into one. Many individuals engage in self-harming behaviors – like cutting or overdosing on medication – not with the intent to die, but as a way to cope with overwhelming emotional pain. However, in certain cases, especially when the harm is severe, it may be a disguised or failed suicide attempt. This blurring of lines makes it essential to take all forms of self-harm seriously, regardless of the person’s stated intent.
That said, suicide typically has its own set of warning signs, such as emotional withdrawal, hopelessness, and behaviors that indicate a sense of finality – like giving away belongings or making amends. Even when self-harm stems from anger or frustration rather than a desire to die, it can escalate quickly if left unaddressed. That’s why early recognition and compassionate intervention are so important in preventing both self-harm and suicide.
Understanding The Different Faces Of Self-Harm
Other than physical self-harm, there are a lot of ways that people are still harming themselves. If somebody is addicted to cigarettes, knowing that it’s harmful for them and that’s the reason they’re smoking again and again, that in itself is a form of self-harm.
Ayesha Zahid
Self-harm is often assumed to be purely physical – cutting, burning, or injuring oneself – but in reality, it’s a far broader and more complex issue. Ayesha Zahid explains that while physical self-harm is one form, there are many other ways people harm themselves that aren’t as visibly apparent. Substance use, for instance, can fall under this category – especially when a person knowingly consumes harmful substances like cigarettes, drugs, or prescription medications with the intent to damage their health. In such cases, the act isn’t about recreation or addiction alone, but often about punishing oneself or expressing inner pain in a destructive way.
Emotional and psychological forms of self-harm are just as significant. People may sabotage meaningful relationships, push away loved ones, or repeatedly put themselves in situations that cause distress – not because they want to, but because they feel unworthy of love, happiness, or stability. This form of emotional self-sabotage stems from deep-seated feelings of guilt, shame, or self-loathing. It’s a way of internalizing pain and punishing oneself without leaving visible scars.
What Are The Warning Signs Of Self-Harm?
Before warning signs, there are environmental factors that are being created in the house.
Ayesha Zahid
Before diving into specific warning signs, clinical psychologist Ayesha Zahid stresses the importance of understanding the environmental factors that often set the stage for self-harming behaviors. Using Parwarish as an example, she highlights how Anya’s distress isn’t occurring in isolation – it’s deeply rooted in the chaos around her: her parents’ (Mahnoor and Jahangir) constant conflict, her brother, Wali, leaving the house, and the overall emotional instability in the household. These circumstances are not uncommon in real life, and when combined with a child’s naturally sensitive disposition, they can become overwhelming. Ayesha emphasizes the importance of early communication. Instead of waiting for visible warning signs, parents, guardians, or even teachers should proactively ask: “How are you feeling about everything happening around you?” or “What’s been going through your mind lately?”
Beyond family conflict, Ayesha also draws attention to the impact of major life transitions – such as moving from abroad to Pakistan. She shares that many of her clients have struggled with this shift, experiencing intense culture shock, identity disorientation, and emotional isolation. These challenges, if left unacknowledged, can lead individuals into depressive or anxious states, and in some cases, push them toward self-harming behaviors.
If you’d like to hear more from Ayesha, click on the link below to watch Episode 10 of FUCHSIA For You and lend your ears to the detailed conversation on self-harm.
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