Jaisay Aapki Marzi offers an insight into how abusers play out the victim’s systematic breakdown and how they brainwash them through Sherry‘s mental mechanics with Aleezay
Jaisay Aapki Marzi has been produced by Six Sigma Plus. The project is penned by Naila Jaffri and directed by Saba Hameed. The cast includes Mikaal Zulfiqar as Sherry, Dur e Fishan Saleem, Javed Sheikh and Kiran Malik, Ali Tahir, Ali Safina in leading roles as part of an ensemble cast. This drama airs on ARY Digital.
Jaisay Aapki Marzi continues to take us along the deviously manipulative and toxic path of Sherry as he makes Alizeh suffer, breaks her emotionally and brainwashes her, blinds her mother to his reality and conceals his past. The sudden flips in his personality, the challenges for Aleezay and her parents’ concern keep us curious, sometimes questioning certain conversations. Yet Sherry’s schemes are sure amping up while Aleezay’s independent, aware persona, breaks down even further, nearing the point of its non existence.
The recent episode highlighted how Sherry shrewdly operates a very progressive, systematic breakdown and brainwashing methodology of Aleezay. He has successfully broken down her spirit, taken away her source of independence, warped her thoughts, beliefs and created this barricade of only his existence around her. In doing so, he presents us with some of the signs victims need to look out for when they might be at the hands of an abuser and might not know it.
1. The Cycle Of Manipulation, Humiliation & Brainwashing
When you don’t put up a fight but merely submit to whatever your abuser asks you to do.
Sherry first manipulates Aleezay into asking his sister Natasha to consider moving out and when his sister who by the way, not so unexpectedly lashes out, he gaslights and disrespects Aleezey and asks her to apologize to her “sahi say“, more than once in front of everybody at the dinner table. He literally behaves like there is no way Natasha should move out and how dare Aleezay suggest such a thing, totally dismantling her self respect. Later he resorts to brainwashing Aleezay and conveniently terming his toxicity as merely a case of a husband and wife saving face for each other and supporting each other. No, he is a grown man who can save his own face in front of his sister.
Yet again, Aleezay let’s it go and goes with him to his brother in law’s house (or she thought). She feels no anger or disrespect at all…It’s almost as if she is now programmed to forget that anything he does is actually manipulative and downright morally corrupt.
2. Normalizing Jealousy & Toxicity In The Name Of Love
When you walk on eggshells 24/7 fearing that anything you say or do might cause a mood swing from your better half.
Sherry is being toxic and yet still manages to make Aleezey feel guilty, he’s that good. He is even jealous of his wife talking or just mentioning his brother in law in a simple, general conversation because according to him: “Meray saath rehtay huway tum aisay kisi aur ki baat nae karsakti” So if, like Aleezay you get to hear that phrase spoken to you, remember to question it because no one should be walking on eggshells and fear mentioning another person’s name in conversation.
He then moves on to shame her and make her feel guilty “tumhay kabhi seekhaya nae jab mard thaka hara office say ata hai tou usey kaisay treat kartay hain“. Sherry’s at it again! But instead of realizing how he is, once again, gas lighting her, Aleezeh just proceeds to press his shoulders. He drops another gem as he “sweetly” yet sadly, ends up referring to her past and makes sure to slip in taunts wrapped in sweet, lovey-dovey words to make her feel guilty, upon his whims.
Red flag girls: These are not signs of love but subtle signs of manipulation and toxicity.
3. The Moment To Recognize – When You Start Defending Your Abuser
When you become his biggest spokesperson!
When Aleezay is sitting with her father to convince him of not picking a bone with Sherry, while she hands him a cheque from her husband despite knowing how it would hurt her father’s pride and self respect. she is so nonchalant when saying (but perhaps not realising the gravity of) “uska mood kis baat pay kharab hojaye, mujhay nahi pata…apko tou pata haina mardon aur unkay mood ka”
She unconsciously knows Sherry is erratic but somehow has now been manipulated and conditioned to think that it is perhaps, perfectly normal. While that is not the case, btw…nobody should be so out of control in terms of their emotions and so emotionally unpredictable that women like Aleezay have to watch every step, every word that slips from their mouth when they’re with them. That in itself is a big red flag and sign of toxicity. But Aleezay’s reasoning is now warped because she doesn’t think Sherry is any way being unreasonable…instead, it’s all her fault really.
Then she further tells her father: “aur ab acha lagta hai kay zara sa chup hojanay say, aman qaim hojata hai” Her father looks at her very disbelievingly, as we did too. Well, we all agree sometimes one person calming down the situation can prevent it from getting worse, maintaining the peace and it’s okay to be the one, once in a while but…where is Aleezey going to draw the line? Where do we draw the line?
When is it going to be Sherry’s turn? What if it always has to be Aleezay at the cost of her self worth, autonomy and relationships? Because there was a time a not so submissive Aleezay wouldn’t stand all this just like many victims of abuse out there. How does one discern between acceptable and unacceptable behavior? When does behavior cross a line? There reaches a juncture where the victim of abuse begins to advocate for the abuser, speaking in their defense, and this is precisely the situation unfolding with Aleezay.
Which of these signs do you think one should be most consciously looking out for?
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