Sulaiman in Parwarish has nailed the parenting debate and we’re up for a free lesson or even a full-blown crash course because well, he has all the answers and that too, because he learnt it the hard way. But the point is that he was willing to learn, wasn’t letting ego come in his way, or the desire to give in to rage, disappointment or mistrust. Sulaiman is not only the rock standing strong for his son Sameer, but he’s also the one advocating for his children, advising their mother Panna how to parent, his parents how to evolve in their perspectives, and his elder brother Jahangir, on how to fix his skewed parenting behaviors and maybe, just maybe, save a few lives and a family in the bargain.
We shed the spotlight on Sulaiman last week as he reacted to Sameer’s rave party incident and police encounter with a calm, collected approach, and we’re here again, lauding his parenting skills. Well, because he deserves it.
Sulaiman hit the high notes as he advised his loved ones how to navigate parenting. But make no mistake, it was all of us he was addressing in the same breath. So, if you’re watching from across the screen, this is what you should have picked from the many pearls of wisdom this drama father had to drop onscreen.
1. Advising Panna
Trusting your child is more important than punishing him with anger. Sulaiman advises Panna that Sameer needs to know he is trusted. Only then will he refrain from making wrong choices again. Children who carry the responsibility of knowing their parents trust them, have confidence that they (the children) will act with maturity even when grown-ups are not with them, and will make sure they keep that trust going.
Rather than withdrawing or reacting with anger, consider engaging in open communication and expressing trust. Emphasize that a single mistake does not determine a person’s character or future life decisions.
Listen up, parents. If every parent were to parent with a bit more love and understanding instead of punishment, your child will knows he must live up to the love and confidence you placed in him.
2. Advising dada and dadi
Sulaiman also advised his parents to close discussions on the topic regarding Sameer’s transgressions of staying out at night, being dishonest about the party he was going to and being held up at the police station. All this was understandably worrying for the family. But unlike others, Sulaiman realised the family should move past the incident, reassure Sameer of their trust, and maintain a strong bond.
It is when we break off communication with our children that they seek a connection with others and perhaps fall into bad company. That is what Sulaiman wants to avoid, to always be the person Sameer comes back to when he is in trouble or looking for answers. That person should be his parents and not someone else.
3. Advising Jahangir
Sulaiman also told Jahangir that sometimes, it is not necessary to take disciplinary action with children. Just letting them know that you care, and that you trust them is enough for them to learn a lesson. He reminded Jahangir of the impressionable and stubborn nature of youth that often, when you are strict, you might get the opposite reaction from them. When their father discovered them smoking, even if he had responded with punishment or strict discipline, it is unlikely this would have stopped them from continuing to experiment, as they were determined to try new things – such is the temperament of young people.
Sometimes not acting might be the best action, advises Sulaiman.
To make a child’s mistake into a crime versus making him realize his mistake by being their friend, by drawing them closer to you, are two different things, explains Sulaiman to Jahangir. He wants his children to rely on him for guidance, seek his help when needed, and trust that he will always support them as both a parent and a friend.
And that dear folks, is what a parent is all about.
Sulaiman just gave us a crash course in parenting, and we hope you got that down. If not, go watch the latest Parwarish episodes and revisit the thoughts that are ruling the Pakistani drama scene this season!
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Parwarish is written by Kiran Siddiqui and directed by Meesam Naqvi. The drama airs every Monday & Tuesday at 8:00 PM on ARY Digital. The cast includes Samar Jafri, Aina Asif, Naumaan Ijaz, Savera Nadeem, Shamim Hilaly, Saad Zameer Fareedi, Reham Rafiq, Nazr-ul-Hasan, Bakhtawar Mazhar, Nooray Zeeshan, Haleema Ali, Arshad Mehmood, Saman Ansari, Abul Hasan, and others.
