When Generation Z opines that they don’t see themselves onscreen, that Pakistani dramas are not their thing, Netflix or Amazon Prime strike the right pose or, write the right story, perhaps what Dear Bestie attempted to spin our way was more Gen Z relatable than many other stories attempting to do the same. Fast-paced, targeted storytelling with a rom-com feel, 8 episodes wrapped up in 18 minutes per episode is the attention span we’re looking at. Anything more, and we’ve lost them, anything less, and we can’t tell the story. But this is why Dear Bestie might be your cup of tea, especially if you feel your Bestie will never be the same after she ties the knot!
Once they’re wedded, you might have wave them goodbye for good. Many instagram posts have been dedicated to Besties groups losing their besties, dwindling into just one member as they fall away, lost to the wedded world, in a swirl of in-law expectations, couple engagements and home chores, leaving little or no time for those Bestie meet-ups, let alone night spends.
But Dear Bestie kept the focus on the girls as Dania and Iman proceeded to make Ayra sign an agreement before she tied the knot, that she would continue to attend their meetups and commit to spending a night or two over the month, sans hubby, to make sure all three of the besties are in on each other’s life events, big or small.
While this might seem a big deal about nothing to grownup ears, one can but throw their minds back to Burns Road Kay Romeo Juliet where Farhad eventually took his mom to the therapist so she could unburden her lifelong grief, the untreated panic attacks, the pain of wedded life, a lost youth, motherhood and wifely duties that came upon her at a time when she should have been adding colour to her life by shopping for bangles on Eid with her besties, all that lost to the responsibilites and chores of a married life.
No one tells a young guy about to be married that he must leave his childhood friends, stop playing cricket or football or even, not step out on the weekend with his friends to grab some time with the ‘boys.’ No one tells him he needs to ‘change and win over’ his in-laws and wife. This is the often unspoken fear that drives Gen Zers to recoil from committing to marriage today. They see their mothers having changed, with zero or no contact with old college friends, their friends now, the wives of their husband’s friends, or possibly, none at all. Their hobbies, or pastimes, dwindling into ‘no time for anything’ as they were too busy bringing up children or tending to their in-laws, or even, ageing parents.
Gen Z wants to know that when they step into marriage, they don’t have to leave anything behind. Be it visits to their parents home, keeping up with their besties and also, achieving their dreams; further education, a desire to travel the world, career growth or, all of the above. Marriage does not have to be an either/or event in life, but rather it should be positively added to the list of ands… I have my best friends, and great career prospects, a professional degree, and a husband who understands and loves me and so much more to look forward to in life because… my new relationship will not just accept but embrace all my past bonds, of friendship, family and job, just like they will have to embrace him.
If Dania and Iman made Ayra sign a contract on-screen to stay Besties for life, it was perhaps, a great message to Gen Zers that they can do it off-screen too. All it requires is a commitment and resolve – a duty to oneself that despite getting married and letting in new people in their life, they must honour the old. Because while the new give them new beginnings and a fresh start, the old are what makes their soul, giving them immense and endless joy. The old is what made them lovable enough for a man to choose them as a life partner. The old is what reminds them of who they are. And letting go of who they are, just by signing on a dotted line is the fear many Gen Zers live with today. When they say ‘I do’ to one person, they feel they might be saying ‘I can’t’ to so many more people who matter dearly in life.
Say yes to the man, without having to say no to everyone else, including your besties – the relationships that drive us through a lifetime, before and after marriage!
Directed by Mehreen Jabbar, Dear Bestie is written by Zoya Hasan and Maha Hasan. It stars Maha Hasan, Aena Khan, Romaisa Khan, Feroz Kadri, Shamim Hilaly, Laila Wasti & more, with episodes available on ARY Digital’s YouTube channel.
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