Abuse, whether mental, physical, emotional, or verbal, deeply affects individuals by undermining their sense of self-worth and security. It manifests in various forms, leaving lasting scars on mental health, relationships, and overall well-being.
In 2024, we’re living in a time where conversations about sensitive issues are more open and progressive than ever before. Topics like mental health, gender equality, and personal boundaries are finally being discussed with the seriousness they deserve. Girls now fully grasp why education and self-dependency are so crucial to shaping their futures and reclaiming their agency. Yet, despite all this progress, the harsh reality of abuse still exists in our society. Whether it’s mental, physical, or emotional, many still suffer in silence, overshadowing the advancements made. It’s a stark reminder that while we’ve come far, there’s still much work to be done in confronting abuse head-on and creating a truly safe world for everyone.
Joining us today for an insightful conversation is Dr. Sheeza Mohsin, a renowned Relationships Expert and Mental Health Counselor!
What Is The Difference Between Anger & Abuse?
The biggest difference between a high conflict marriage and an abusive relationship is power and control.
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin explained that a high-conflict marriage is not the same as an abusive relationship. In high-conflict marriages, arguments and disagreements are common, with both partners equally expressing frustration or anger. For instance, a wife might throw a TV remote, and a husband might respond by throwing a cup, but neither person exerts power or control over the other. These actions, though unhealthy, come from a place of conflict, not dominance. There is some level of equity in the relationship where both individuals feel they can voice their frustrations, even if it leads to arguments.
In contrast, an abusive relationship involves a clear power dynamic where one person exerts control over the other. Dr. Sheeza highlighted that in abuse, fear plays a central role—the victim anticipates negative reactions and is always on edge, unsure of what might trigger the abuser’s anger. Unlike high-conflict marriages where both partners might fight, abuse is marked by manipulation, dominance, and aggression. The victim feels powerless and trapped, constantly living in fear, knowing that the abuser holds control over them. This significant difference, she emphasized, lies in the presence of power and control within the abusive relationship.
How Many Types Of Abuse Are There?
5-6 types of abuses are very common.
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin explained that abuse can take many forms beyond just physical violence. Physical abuse is not limited to hitting, pushing, or grabbing; it also includes showing aggression by invading someone’s personal space or acting in a threatening manner. For instance, if someone comes too close or raises their hand as if they might strike, it’s still considered physical abuse because it instills fear. Additionally, emotional abuse is another pervasive form, which includes character attacks, constant taunting, and making small issues seem much bigger to hurt the other person.
She further emphasized that abuse often begins with emotional aggression before escalating to physical violence. Financial control is another common form of abuse, where a person withholds money, denies basic needs, or restricts their partner from working or leaving the house. Dr. Sheeza also pointed out that behaviors like stalking, violating privacy, and isolating someone from their support system are all forms of abuse. This includes things like repeatedly calling after a breakup, checking each other’s messages without consent, or demeaning someone’s family and cutting them off from loved ones. These actions are all about exerting power and control over the victim.
Can A Physical Abuser Be Treated?
The biggest ingredient in that is that the person who is physically abusive, jis din usne thaan li ke mujhe apne aapko change karna hai toh wo bilkul change ho sakta hai.
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin acknowledged that the answer is complex, but emphasized the importance of recognizing that every family and individual’s circumstances are unique. As a mental health expert, she remains hopeful and firmly believes in the potential for change in everyone. The key to this transformation lies in the individual’s will. If a person who has been physically abusive makes a conscious decision to change, they absolutely can. However, this change must come from within, with the individual taking full responsibility for their healing and personal growth. When someone truly desires to change, they possess the power to make it happen.
Should A Girl Slap A Guy Back? Is It Right Or Wrong?
I would say that it depends on the person and if someone did something in self-defense, it is their own choice.
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin
Dr. Sheeza Mohsin explained that the situation really depends on the individual and their actions in self-defense. She emphasized that this isn’t a question of morality or right and wrong but rather one of self-preservation. If someone feels strong enough to act in self-defense, she can understand their reaction, though she neither endorses nor disagrees with it. However, she expressed concern about the potential consequences, especially when a woman physically reacts to a stronger partner, like a husband, in anger. In most cases, men are physically stronger, which puts women at a disadvantage, potentially increasing the risk of further harm.
She pointed out that, in abusive relationships, this dynamic often escalates, similar to physical altercations between children where retaliation becomes a contest. She emphasized the complexity of these situations, highlighting that every family system is different with unique circumstances. Because these issues are so layered and nuanced, she strongly advised anyone experiencing or suspecting abuse to consult a specialist to get the right guidance.
There are plenty more topics that we touched upon. To know more, stay tuned for FUCHSIA For You Episode 4 coming out soon on FUCHSIA’s YouTube channel!
